So im sure many of you are wondering how we got little cooper into the world and let me tell you it was not at all how i expected or wanted any of it to go. God truly had his hand on every part of his delivery because quite frankly, my life and Coooper's life were in danger and nobody knew it yet. I woke up at 5:30am on Saturday January 28th with a lot of back pain. I thought maybe I had slept funny because I've done that before so I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. It didn't work very well, and by 10am I was telling Kris to call the doctor because I couldn't stand how much pain my back was in. I wasn't having hard contractions at this point, but something just told me this wasn't right and I needed to know what was up. We got to the hospital and while in the triage room my contractions started getting stronger and stronger. I was 2cm, but they decided to admit me anyways since my contractions were showing all signs of active labor. Less than 2 hours later I was at 3cm and saying I wanted the epidural because my contractions were 1-3minutes apart and I couldn't stand it. Right before I got my epidural, I thought my water had broke. It turned out I was bleeding very heavily. My doctor said it was ok in some women, but that they were going to break my water and see how that turned out. There was blood in my fluid. It was at this point that my doctor looked at me and said that while Cooper wasnt showing any signs of distress, all of this blood loss was an indication that my placenta could possily be tearing away. If we let it go, I would bleed to death internally and Cooper would die from all the blood as well. I was told it was time for a c section and within 5minutes I was being wheeled into the OR. I was given a crap load of epidural and it didn't numb me enough, so Kristoffer was sent from the OR and I was put completely under. The last thing i remember hearing was "Night Night Sweetie" and thinking "Why? I'm not the least bit sleepy yet"...lol I'm not sure how much time passed, but next thing I knew I was waking up in a recovery room. THIS was the hardest part. I think because I never got to emotionally process what was happening to me, I woke up sobbing my eyes out wondering where Cooper was and if he was ok. I cry thinking about it because never in my life has my own life and well being been so far from my mind. I was completely consumed with knowing every detail about Cooper. The first thing i said was "Is he ok???" I was assured by all the nurses that he was precious, healthy, and that his Daddy hadn't left his side. For some reason though, this wasn't cutting it for me. I NEEDED to hear it from Kristoffer, or see him with my own eyes. I was told I wasn't allowed to leave the recovery room for 1 hour. Never has 1 hour seemed so long in all my life. Kristoffer came to me and showed me pictures and told me all about him and all I could do was cry. I kept thinking about how the first people he saw and heard were strange doctors and I wanted to die. I'm his mother, I'm supposed to be there every step of the way for him, and here I was already failing at it. I had been waiting so long to hold him and care for him and now here I was, hyped up on enough pain medication to put a horse to sleep (The nurses words not mine) and unable to see my baby boy. I was also told that it was a VERY good thing I had the c section because my placenta was already 50% detached. I don't know how much longer it would have taken for it be completely off, but I'm so incredibly grateful that we will never know the answer. God knew what He was doing when He brought Cooper into this world, and now that I can't imagine life without him, it all seems so insane to me that it was once threatened so severely.After almost 2 hours of waiting I was FINALLY moved down to my room and after another 30minutes of getting settled, checking vitals, etc etc, Kris wheeled Cooper in to see me. I completely lost it again. Every detail about him was perfect. For those of you who haven't had your babies yet, prepare yourself for such a rush of love you won't know what to do with yourself. Every fiber of my being was suddenly wrapped up in this tiny 7lb 2oz baby boy and I was in Heaven over it! It's a long road ahead, and sadly now, anymore children I have will be delivered via c section, but I'm trusting that God has a plan for all of this. My recovery is going to take about 6weeks, and everything I do for Cooper is a struggle at this point, but I'll make it through. I'm getting stronger everyday and now that I'm home I can get settled into a routine and work out a system to help myself be more independant and enjoy every minute I have with my precious Cooper Ray!
I thought after having the C section I was in the clear, but it turns out I wasn't. Because I had lost so much blood, my iron level was way low, my white blood cell count was too high, and my heart rate would spike and then plumit. I ended up needing a blood transfusion to get everything stable again on Sunday and then they had to monitor me, draw blood far too many times to test my levels, and give me another IV before I was allowed to go home on Tuesday January 31st. It was also really hard to get any rest because the nurses and doctors seem to have no concept of letting someone sleep. They were killing me because they were all saying "Get plenty of rest." and then they would be in and out of my room almost every hour with something that needed to be done. Coming home was such a relief to be able to just relax without interuption from doctors and nurses. I never had a problem tending to Cooper, but it felt like JUST when I would get him down and settled in, somebody was coming in my room delaying me from getting the rest I needed. I know they were doing all the right things for me and I'm so thankful for it, but at the same time coming home was a wonderful feeling.
And now I have THIS wonderful, sweet, precious, face to enjoy everyday for the rest of my life and I cannot thank God enough for blessing me with him.
I have a whole new outlook on love and what it means. Cooper is 11 days old and the way my love for him grows each day amazes me. I simply cannot believe that this is my son! He does so many adorable things and watching him grow and learn and change each day is the best blessing a person could ask for in life. I am a firm believer that there is almost no greater joy than being a Mother. <3
No comments:
Post a Comment